I am having some major technical challenges trying to get this blog post done. I am unable to post pictures right now because of our issues. Sorry - check back tomorrow night for some hopefully.
I am so tired and still have a few things to do before going to bed so I'll make it short.
My dear friend, Sarah Cox, took such great care of Noah for us while we went. She had him over last night for his first "sleepover" and then kept him all day today even while she wasn't feeling well. (Much more on this story later) It was weird going to an appt without Noah and really reminded me that he is carted around with us on appts constantly. What a champ! Jordan was sad without him today and confused. She kept looking over where his car seat usually is and saying, "Noah? No Noah? Noah sleeping Ivy's house? Why?"
Our appt was at 8:30 but I thought it was at 8:15 so I planned to get there by 8:00. We left at 5:45 and hit no traffic, making it in record time (other than our surgery trip at 3:00 a.m.). Jordan and I got there at 7:00 sharp. We ate donuts and I had Starbucks in the cafeteria. It's a familiar place and I actually love going there. We had a really fun morning. We chatted in the waiting room with other families who are so thankful for Dr. Oppenheim.
I will preface this by telling you that Jordan is TOTALLY freaked out by doctors and nurses. This is the understatement of the year. The nurse tries to take her temp at the pediatrician's office and Jordan screams as though she is being burned alive - honestly. It scares people but I don't know how to stop her from freaking out. Imagine when the guy today turned on the saw. You can imagine the blood curdling scream. The guy almost dropped the saw. I'm serious. He closed the door and started to cut the cast and she was shoving at him, clawing at me, screaming, and I'm starting to freak out wondering if it's really hurting her. He says no but by her fighting I wasn't so sure. It took all I had to hold her down. We were all out of breath by the end. Then he can't get it off so he has to use these giant clamp scissor things to pry it open. She's starts up again. Then when I saw what it looked like I had one of those moments where you know that you have two choices - snap out of it and get it together or lose it completely. I am really very strong with this stuff and have no problem usually holding her down etc. It's for the greater good so it's worth it to me. Today was different somehow. I really almost said, "Forget it. We're coming back when someone else can do this because I'm done." I asked the resident if someone else could hold her leg when they take the pin out and this guy (younger than me probably with no kids) looked at me like I was being dramatic. The doctor decided to x-ray before taking the pin out. Yet another thing Jordan "loves." It took two x-ray techs and me to hold her down for that one. We all came out sweating and everyone was staring at us (docs and staff). The doctor came in and said that the surgery results weren't as good as he would like but he does see improvement (BIG bummer!). The x-ray before surgery looks close to the same as now to me but she for sure has an arch to her foot now that she didn't have before. He didn't seem all that pleased but was pointing out the positives (the foot arch and a small improvement in one of the bones). Either way he did his best (which is darn good) and it needed to be done regardless of the outcome. He opted to put a short leg walking cast on but he left the pin in for two more weeks. He said that I can pull the pin out (yeah right) or I can make an appt for his resident to do it. He'll leave this short cast on for four weeks after that (total of six more weeks) then she'll wear a brace for six months. I really don't want to drive up there, wait 2 hours to see the resident to do something that can be done at home. It's totally not a big deal apparently. Everyone kept showing me how to loosen it and pull it out. The doc said to find someone to pull it out for me if I can't do it and don't want to come. He was chuckling that I thought he was crazy to think I could pull it out myself. Anyone want to give it a shot? Seriously? Two weeks from today we can take that sucker out. Let me know if you know anyone who would do it.
For some reason today was a challenge to me more than any other day, even surgery days. I think as she is getting older, responding more to pain, stress, etc. it's getting harder for me. It's easy to get discouraged as I look ahead to more and more surgeries. I feel so bad for her but there isn't anything I can do. It's tiring to hold her down again and again while she screams. After the cast removal (the saw part) today she was so freaked out and I was totally stressed so I started singing Jesus Loves You and reminding her of God's love for her and the fact that He never leaves us or forsakes us and that the proof of that love is shown in the sacrifice of his own son for us. I said, "Just think - if God loves us enough to take away our sins with his own boy don't you think he loves us enough to be with us when things are scary and hard?" As I was talking to her about God's love and his prescence and how thankful we were to be for all He does she totally calmed and not surprisingly so did I. I prayed with her and honestly the rest of the appt went pretty well. She let the cast guy (the saw man) put a new cast on her. Even though she was still freaked she didn't scream. He shut the doors just incase. :) :)
One really funny quick thing...as we were leaving the office we were strollering past the reception desk and Jordan said so loudly with such conviction, "THANK GOD!!!" A lady whipped her head around and said, "Did she just say what I think she said??!" I repeated Jordan, "Thank God." That woman was cracking up. The whole front office staff started laughing. Jordan was still pretty serious and really meant it - THANK GOD!!!! She was so glad to be leaving that office and I can't blame her.
She's not putting weight on her leg tonight and just cries saying it hurts. Pray for that. I have to get to bed but will post pics when I can.