Okay this blogging daily will stop soon I promise but I figure since I still have some of you as a captive audience I might as well take advantage of it. In fact, when I was a kid I wanted to be, at one point, a tour guide operator. That way I could use that authoritative voice and talk all day long to an audience who had nowhere else to go. They would be trapped on my bus or tram and I could just talk at them all day long. Funny huh? :) The blog is like that for me...I can write these long posts and think to myself that hundreds of people are checking it all day long to find out what I have to say next. I guess the whole blogging phenomenon is kind of like that but I don't mind. I love reading other blogs and I hope you enjoy reading mine.
So today was a kind of up, kind of down day. It was a great morning. We (myself and the kids) finally got out of the house just the three of us to do something normal and routine like go to get a couple little things at the grocery store and finally get a pumpkin for carving (or "cutting" as Noah says). Noah was talking all morning about this pumpkin we were finally going to "cut." Being gone at the hospital all last week then trying to take care of Jordan and get my mom on her plane then all of our appointments Monday and Tuesday there really was no other day to do it. We get to Albertson's and nothing (we did buy a few $1 costumes for the kids...yes, ONE dollar). We walked over to Wal-Mart, nothing. When the lady at Wal-Mart told me that they sold out of their last pumpkin at the end of last week I nearly started crying. I didn't say anything, I just turned the stroller around and headed for the car while Noah is asking over and over when we're going to cut our pumpkin. I'm totally trying to control myself and keep from losing it. At the same time I'm telling myself that it's just a stupid pumpkin and that I REALLY shouldn't be crying over not being able to cut a pumpkin! On the way home from the store Noah wanted to hear our "God Music" so I turned it on and How Great is Our God came on. Hearing Noah sing it and listening to the words I really, again, felt so thankful for so much. I was overcome with thanksgiving that we have Noah who is healthy and wonderful and that we have Jordan with us still, despite my thoughts after her surgery that something was terribly wrong. To have a God that I KNOW for absolute certain is perfect, loving, just and unchanging through time and trials is such a comfort even when things aren't perfect. He doesn't change when things in this world do.
In talking to Shan's mom later she helped me to realize that it wasn't just the pumpkin that was the end of me, it was that I wanted something "normal" for our family for once. I wanted to be like everyone else, cutting pumpkins, sharing "The Pumpkin Gospel" with my kids (Google it and you'll see what I'm talking about). This whole pumpkin thing threw my entire day! I dressed the kids up late morning to take them to Jordan's school for therapy. They had a Halloween day for the kids that was so fun. It was nice being there in a place where I could relate to the parents and the therapists, where they also want "normal" in their lives but have had to adjust to a new "normal." My favorite thing of the morning there was the fact that Noah didn't stare, didn't flinch, didn't notice any of the kids who were in wheelchairs, using walkers and who were severely affected by their differences. I LOVE that that is "normal" to him now, that (Lord willing) he will probably not stare when he sees a person with a physical difference and he will not gawk, he will not whisper and he will not make them uncomfortable or ashamed.
On our way home from therapy Noah is still talking about our pumpkin cutting so I decide to veer over three lanes to check out the Dana Point Harbor Pumpkin Patch before driving to our surrounding cities to find a pumpkin while the kids napped. As I am pulling in to this desolate, deserted parking lot covered with straw I see ONE pumpkin sitting by itself in the middle of the lot and a lonely man hanging around. He said that it is, indeed, his last pumpkin and that he had already checked every single grocery chain in our entire area and that there were no more pumpkins. I nearly fell over. This pumpkin was the last in our tri-city area! (San Clemente, Dana Point, San Juan) It was ours - warts, bumps, lumps, broken stem and all it's glory - it was ours! The guy wanted $5 but I only had four...this was the first time I used Jordan for sympathy...I took her out of the car with me when I went over to ask him if he would accept $4 since that's all the cash I had with me. He agreed and we left with our prized pumpkin - elated!
Although we didn't have time to carve it later we did have a nice night at home with the kids and walking around the block with our friends and neighbors. We'll carve the pumpkin tomorrow hopefully but it doesn't really seem all that urgent anymore. :)
Thanks for reading my long post. As for Jordan she is still doing well and we are planning on being back at church tomorrow night for our young marrieds' bible study. Yay! We miss you all so much at Compass Bible Church!!!!